How letting go can lead to success

Relax, release and renew

In my last post I wrote about our responses to the unexpected and how the results may be very different to what we were expecting but also how they can be much better. If only we’re open to the possibilities.

The second part to this, and one I struggle with, is to remain positive and optimistic when things aren’t going to plan or the world and everyone in it seemly conspires for you to fail. It’s difficult to maintain the inner fire, never give up, succeed at all costs, I believe in myself mantra when things around us are not going to plan.

Most of us at some time are plagued with self doubt. The emotional high and enthusiasm of launching into a new project or the crystallisation of goals can be counter balanced with a low that leaves us feeling flat and emotionally drained.

How many times have you said, or at least thought ‘This was a stupid idea anyway’ or ‘Why do I get my hopes up when I know I can’t make this work’. Then to really cap it off we question our own abilities, wonder why we can’t when so many can and generally beat ourselves up. I have lost count of the times this has happened to me.

No one gets everything right or everything they want the first time. Life just doesn’t work that way and it’s unrealistic to think it does. Even the most successful have failures along the way and usually lots of them. Just have a look at how many Virgin duds Richard Branson put his name to.

So we read the books and they say never, never, never (as if saying it three times makes it more so) give up. Regroup, refocus, reenergize and recommence. Pump your fist in the air and get excited that this failure is simply proving one way not to succeed so you’re  one step closer. Great, but I still feel like crap.

Let’s not forget one thing here. We’re human and despite our best efforts to the contrary we’re not success machines turned up to eleven. Stuff happens. In our jobs, our lives and our families. Sometimes the pressure cooker is turned up so high that we just don’t have the mental space or physical capacity to take the world on……today.

When this happens you may need to shelve that project for a while. No, this isn’t giving up and it’s not being weak, it’s reality and often the best choice. If you continue to force yourself the chances of success diminish in direct proportion to the increase in your frustration and anxiety.

Allow yourself to be human. It’s impossible to walk around ‘turned up to ten’ all of the time.  You may have to take that miniature Anthony Robbins off your shoulder and put him away for a while. He can scream in your ear about achieving your peak state another day.

So relax, release and renew. Take a holiday, build a cubby house for the kids or scare your spouse by taking them out for dinner or away for a weekend. Assure them you’re not having an affair and no, you don’t have a terminal illness, you just want to be with them. No plans, no frantic arm waving, excited discussions of future wealth or world domination. Just be with them now, in the moment.

Be fair and don’t get angry when they ask what have you bought, what have you done or what are you going to ask me to sign? They will not be used to seeing you like this! Take some time to reconnect, relax and let go. Let yourself breathe. Invest in your head space and you will see the world and your challenges in a different light.

And when you least expect it the answer will pop into your head. Is it synchronicity, divine intervention or the Universe providing the way? Maybe, or just maybe it’s a human being accepting that they aren’t a machine and allowing nature to take its course.


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5 Responses to “How letting go can lead to success”

  1. paulhassing Says:

    Onya WLBB! Keep ’em coming! 🙂

  2. everyeachlife Says:

    You have some really wise insights and advise! I discovered it’s self-doubt that really keeps one back!


    • WorkLifeBankBalance Says:

      Thanks for your comment and you are spot on – self doubt can really hold you back when you need to be flying. Amazing how external influences around us can aldo cause us to doubt ourselves. It doesn’t take much when we feel we are powerful and motivated towards our goals. Great stuff WLBB

  3. adamnrave Says:

    Hey, this is very nicely said WL. I like the idea that putting projects to one side actually allows the Universe (and then you) some time to find the right way. Sensible stuff. Reading with interest. Thanks!

    • WorkLifeBankBalance Says:

      Thanks Adam, we often try to achieve a zen like flow with the Universe but continually block it with our haste and mental overloads. I find surfing is my time to let go, relax and enjoy nature and I always come out better than I go in.

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