How can I be happy now?

Happiness is the quest of all human endeavour

 

I’m often asked, ‘What’s the secret to a successful life and how can I be happy?’

Great question, but where do we start? The answer is ‘that depends’ because it changes with what each person values as important.

Ask anyone about their goals and dreams and inevitably they’ll include ‘just to be happy’ in the top 2 or 3. The others are usually a combination of health, wealth and being successful.

In goal setting ‘just to be happy’ doesn’t work. Unless you can define what success looks like and you set a plan to get there you’ll never reach it.

So we plan and set personal goals for achieving success. Goals in every area of life: finance, career, health, spirituality, family and recreation. We set targets and milestones and monitor progress along the way.

Where does happiness fit into this? Do we have to achieve all of these goals to be happy or is the journey enough? What happens if you achieve tall your goals and you still aren’t happy? Believe me, it happens a lot.

Happiness can’t be a conditional goal. ‘I will be happy when I make a million dollars, lose 10 kg or find the partner of my dreams’. They’re great outcomes, but do you really need to achieve those things to be happy? What’s stopping you being happy today?

Discarding our beliefs about conditional happiness is no easy task. How do we embrace happiness as a choice that comes from within? The most challenging task is controlling how external factors and other people our inner world. We all know people that love to drag us down and share in their misery. It may not be possible to avoid them, we have to live in the world, but we can decide how we let other people affect us.

This takes work and becomes a part of our personal philosophy. Understand that as soon as we make the decision to be happy, our subconscious through conditioning will try to convince us that we’re wasting our time. Things that aren’t right, yet to be achieved or fulfilled occupy our mind. Perhaps we have been taught that it’s wrong or even immoral to be happy. Why is struggle, sacrifice and living a meagre existence seen as noble or respectful? What’s wrong with being the best you can be and wishing that for everyone?’

So we need to establish a new set of rules and accept happiness as our default state. We need to accept who we are now and look to the future with enthusiasm for the journey.

Even when things go wrong, as they inevitably do, having the foundation and expectation of happiness, contentment and inner peace allows us to be confident that we’re on the right path and that the journey of life is worth living and to be enjoyed.

My next blog will focus on enjoying the journey as the source of lasting happiness.

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One Response to “How can I be happy now?”

  1. Marie Farrugia Says:

    Well said, WLBB!

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