If life doesn’t turn out as you hoped take a new path

Sometimes the wrong turn can be the right turn!

In the last post we discussed how the results of our lives may not always be what we had hoped for. This post we look at the alternativews and how it can work for you.

The solution

It’s important to nurture your sense of self while not being rigidly fixed to single outcome. If you are you may be disappointed your life hasn’t turned out as you hoped.

Just as clothes, haircuts and music tastes change from 20 to 40 so do our goals and dreams. Remaining rigid to outdated ideas is not a true reflection of who you are. I remember when a Saturday night at home signalled a monumental failure of my young life, now – it’s a pleasant and welcome respite.

My daughter Holly wanted to get into Law at university but despite her best efforts and dedication didn’t get the required entry score. She was devastated, her dream dashed. She had an interest in psychology and entered an arts course that leads to a psychological qualification with some additional study. She loves it and feels it’s exactly where she needs to be. She wants to help disadvantaged children through art therapy. This combines her love of art (she’s talented!) with a career in psychology that ‘feels right’. She’s now glad she didn’t get into law!

Holly now has the opportunity to combine her love of art with a fulfilling career, which is a great result. This isn’t going to be ‘work’ for her, she will have fun. She’s following her path and will be successful because she’s found where she is meant to be. What a brilliant outcome.

Life isn’t rigid, linear or unchanging. It’s a flowing, moving force that rushes around obstacles and seeks transition. Like water, it flows at great speed and finds its own level. The level can rise and fall with changes around it but its nature remains the same.

If we refuse to adjust to the torrent we may become stuck and emotionally drown. As with Holly, a willingness to try other things and to locate your true path makes for an interesting life.

Flexibility and multi streaming

If flexibility is a virtue for finding your path. The idea that you can be more than one thing at a time – such as a business person and an artist or to have wealth and be spiritual – frees your mind and becomes a source of inspiration and insight.

You will be criticised for following this path. Chasing multiple dreams may appear undisciplined and lacking in focus. You don’t need to conform to others’ opinions; their judgment is tempered from any perceived variation from the ‘accepted norm’. It requires strength of character and self belief to stay on your path when the world around you is herding you towards the safe majority.

Your life is already made up of distinct pieces – work, family, recreation, hobbies, health, spirituality and more.

If you have a business career and want to write novels, do you have to quit your job to pursue your passion? Of course not. You can work during the day, giving 100% effort and focus, and write in your free time. You can become a published author and keep your job if that’s what you choose to do. You may even end up with multiple income streams!

This is about focusing your energy on multiple interests. People will be critical because the dominant value in society is unity of thought and action. You don’t have to operate that way. I find writing to be a creative outlet that provides me with a sense of fulfilment and balances the pressures of running a company. And I enjoy both for different reasons. Who says I have to choose only one?

My passion for writing drives a passion for learning the craft. With the help of two talented writer friends I’m learning the lessons and honing my skills. The benefit for my business career is that I have become a far more articulate and focused communicator.

Very little in this world is mutually exclusive. Sporting interests make a great conversation point at a business meeting. A passion for health helps you stay focused longer and perform better at work. Restoring classic cars teaches patience and problem solving. Coaching your child’s sports team teaches people and organisational skills. The list is endless and you can choose more than one path. Life’s a rich tapestry and it’s never too late to start something new.

Running your own race

We live in a pragmatic world where people often value the predictable standards of success. They may actively dissuade you from your path toward more practical goals. This is not done with malice; it comes from their personal belief system. In this common eventuality you need to keep your focus on what important to you.

 Allow them their opinion and don’t feel the need to convert them. They are on a different path.

So when life doesn’t turn out exactly how you planned it can you accept the change in course and allow yourself to live a life that fuels your passion and leads to enlightenment. This just may be your life’s purpose after all.

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9 Responses to “If life doesn’t turn out as you hoped take a new path”

  1. paulhassing Says:

    Great post! This is a test comment. If it gets up, I’ll write a proper one. Best regards, P. 🙂

  2. paulhassing Says:

    Hi, M. So glad to see my comments are making it through the WordPress mangle again.

    I like this post for its highly personal nature. Every time you step off that high chair and put yourself into your words, they start to sing.

    Please pass my congrats to Holly. And keep some for yourself for producing such a switched-on daughter.

    Keep charting these waters, Mate, and you’ll be pumping out your next book in no time. Best regards, P. 🙂

  3. adamnrave Says:

    I concur with Paul … I like the personal approach. And I’m very pleased for your daughter. This is also a well constructed post WLBB, so you must be doing something right with your writing training. Carry on!

  4. bridge2wisdom Says:

    I really enjoyed your post. I also had to make some serious adjustments along the way, and it was just so worthwhile. It brought me experiences that surpassed anything I could have dreamed up myself.
    Looking forward to reading more of your posts.

    • WorkLifeBankBalance Says:

      Hi bridge2wisdom,

      Thanks for stopping by! It appears that you are on the right path being prepared to make adjustments and this is a conscious effort many are not prepared to take. Good for you! Living life with purpose means no regrets. It’s a long journey, 20 years of learning and trial and error for me, but the benefits far outweighs the effort.

      I try to post weekly and welcome your thoughts and feedback. Many thanks. WLBB.

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