What if …

Last week I left the cold of the Australian winter to spend a week in the California sunshine; a business trip with an unaccustomed amount of free time.

With a meeting on Thursday and a conference on Monday we had the rare opportunity of three days off to explore and enjoy ourselves. It’s easy to be captivated by LA, an amazing city, and the diversity, contrast and excitement.

We marvelled in the hurricane colour of Venice beach, Hollywood’s glamour and the excitement of Huntington Pier and the final heats of a world pro surfing tour event. As a child I’d seen footage of surfers navigating the pylons of this pier, surfing through and around in a seemingly death defying display of skill and control.

And now I was right here.

It’s times like these that I wonder why I waste so much of my life locked in an office in an endless busyness that often feels of little value. I want to retire and live the bohemian lifestyle of one who is truly free. A life of fulfilment, financially free, living for the moment and experiencing the joy of life without the constraints of time.

In LA, I walked along the ocean-front apartments daydreaming … picturing myself tanned and lean, relaxed and happy as I returned from a morning surf to breakfast on fresh tropical fruit and roasted coffee before spending a few hours writing … in the early afternoons I’d a stroll down to a cafe for lunch and some banter with the local vendors while enjoying the warm day and the tropical breeze. Time is only defined by light and dark, a beautiful sunset heralding the end of the day …

But then it’s back to reality and the worry that it’s a nice dream but that’s all it ever will be. Then I ask myself: what if … ?

Perception is reality

Life is a highway …

We often hear that perception is reality. And perception is based on interpretation. And many times the things we do or say can be interpreted in different ways.

A recent experience made me realise that we interpret words to match what’s already in our heads. Then we respond accordingly. And often what happens backs up our interpretation.

If we’re stressed, we hear everything as an accusation. We think that what’s going on in our heads is actually what’s happening in the world. We don’t realise that there’s a difference.

A few weeks ago week in Europe, some colleagues and I were on the autobahn and the traffic came to an unexpected stop. We were on a road without speed limits, doing zero. We waited for ten minutes and still the traffic didn’t move.

We got out of the bus. I was interested to see what was wrong. Had someone broken down? Had there been an accident? I walked up to the truck ahead of us and asked the driver what the problem was. I thought as a regular commuter he may have some local knowledge.

He started waving his arms angrily and said ‘Where the hell am I’m going to go, you tell me what the hell can I do?’ He pointed ahead and said ‘Can you drive a fu*king truck?’

All he heard was people blowing their horns. He was clearly frustrated and stressed; perhaps he had a deadline to meet. He didn’t hear my question, he heard an accusation: ‘Get on with it, get moving, we’re behind you’, because that reinforced his reality.

We do this every day. We create a reality. Then misinterpret and reinforce it. Perception may not be reality and this can get us into trouble.

Making it work for you!

A plan gets you to the finishing line

The next step in our journey is to take your action plans and sort the pages by importance. One of your goals may be to lose weight and get fit so your action plan may look something like this:

Goal – To lose 5 kg in 12 weeks and increase my fitness level.

– I will commit 30 minutes per day to walk, 5 days per week

– Go for an hour bike ride with the kids on the weekend

– Purchase good quality training shoes

– Load my iPod with inspirational music

– Work out routes that are 1, 3 and 5 km in length

– Reduce my food intake by cutting out junk food except on Saturdays (my free day)

– Cut down on alcohol to only 2 glasses of wine per week

– No carbs after 2.00 pm

– Weigh myself twice a week and record in my journal

The goal is specific and measurable and provides a time frame. The actions are the steps to getting there. Looking at these actions you will see that each is achievable and helps to work towards your goal. Some are once offs to get you going, some are ongoing and others may be sequential.

 In this example you will start with buying the shoes and loading your iPod. Next you will go for a walk, which may just be around the block the first time, building over time to longer distances. You start watching your food and alcohol intake and record your progress in your journal.

You‘re on your way to achieving your goal and manifesting the result you want. Deadlines are important to keep you focused on the outcome. If you have no end point you are less likely to make as much progress. Don’t try to do too much at once. If you make it too difficult from the start you will have a higher probability of quitting. Make a start – it’s more than you’re doing now – and enjoy the feeling of achievement.

This creates momentum and your goal moves from being a nice idea to progressing towards reality. Even better, when you stick at your behaviour it becomes a positive habit that you achieve easily, without battling with yourself each time.

This is an easy example, one that many of us can relate to, and one that shows how a set number of actions makes it easier to achieve an outcome. Remember to only choose six to eight ongoing actions. Any more and you will find the task too daunting. This example has three initial activities and six ongoing ones.

This process works for starting a business, writing a book, building a tree house or enrolling and attending a course; any goal that you set yourself.  Don’t overload yourself trying to achieve five goals at the same time. Perhaps select one business and one health goal that don’t conflict.

Manifesting is simply the process of turning an idea into reality. Nothing magical here, it’s a common sense approach to creating a plan and following it. This doesn’t mean it will always be easy. You may miss some of your deadlines but that’s OK – whatever happens you will be better off than when you started, and you can reassess and adjust your actions and targets as you go. The hardest part is starting, so get the motion in your emotion and get started today!

How do you get what you want?

Getting what you want - it's your move!

My last post explored how creating a success mindset allows your subconscious to help form your reality. We also discussed why believing in yourself is so important.

This is an important foundation, but in reality you can’t simply wish something into existence. Deciding what you want, setting a plan, beating procrastination, being prepared to try, dealing with failure and trying again is what makes it happen.

Unfortunately this is where many people get it wrong. Creating the correct mindset is vital but so is action. Understanding that there is no traction without action is the second part of the equation. Positive affirmations, vision statements and creating an emotional bond to your desires are not enough.

Take your list of goals and write a one-page plan for each; a plan on how you’re going to achieve that goal. This is a list of action steps that you take sequentially to reach your objective.

The great benefit in doing so is to break your task down into individual activities which are smaller, achievable and can be done within a specific time frame. And then you start. When you have a plan you create an intention and that leads to action, which in turn creates progress.

Review your plan after completing each step; it will change as you learn, so don’t be afraid to make adjustments and improve your program. Grab your diary and write an action step in for a specific day. Hold yourself accountable. Success is the result of many small steps moving towards a clearly defined goal.

When you start, interesting things happen. First you’ll experience a wonderful sense of achievement and satisfaction.

Second you’ll realise the value in your history. When you take action you’ll find your experiences, even those you thought were bad or a waste of time, will help you. You’ll start to understand the wisdom of your journey thus far, and how this accumulated knowledge can help you to reach your goals.

This is a great reward of life. We’re here to grow, achieve and to reach our full potential. We’re far greater than we ever give ourselves credit for. The human spirit is boundless. Most of us have barely begun to understand what we’re capable of. So get to your action list and make it count!

 

Dreams to reality

Heading off on your journey to success!

In this series we are following the journey of turning your dreams into reality. Many people are surprised to learn that there’s a specific process to make this happen and the effort required is minimal when compared to the results.

This post is a slight diversion, but valuable to explain the process and to provide some grounding and understanding on what we are doing, as well as debunking some of the hype.

Dreams to reality. Perhaps ‘dreams’ is not the right word, as that can connote not being ‘real’. In this context, ‘dreams’ means ‘wants, desires, goals, plans, outcomes’; any word that means working towards something you want badly enough to create a strong emotional link.

You may have heard the expression ‘I will believe it when I see it’ or ‘seeing is believing’. When you work to manifest your dreams this becomes the opposite – ‘I will see it when I believe it’. That requires some faith and self-belief, which is harder than it sounds because it often runs against our lifetime mental programming.

Faith means believing in yourself and your ability to create something. Everything is created twice; first in your mind and then in reality. Let’s look at a fun example to see how it works, because it works for everything.

Lunchtime, you feel hungry and decide you want a sandwich so you ‘visualise’ what you want. You see it in your mind; white bread, chicken, tomato, lettuce and mayonnaise. You go into the kitchen and make it or walk into a shop and buy it.

Easy, because you never doubted your ability to manifest a chicken sandwich. You’ve done it before and it doesn’t require much mental energy. This may seem like a silly example but when we talk about manifesting, attracting abundance, visualising, self-belief, affirmations, putting it out to the universe and the like, this can all sound ‘new agey’ and easy to dismiss out of hand. But if you can understand that you’re turning dreams into reality every day, then the leap to the bigger picture is not as difficult.

I’ve read experts and gurus that make this process out to be mystical, bordering on a religious experience, when it’s simply a common sense process that can be followed. I believe in the power of our subconscious and its ability to help us find a way. Part of this is our ‘self-talk’ – if we tell ourselves ‘I’m hopeless, things never work out for me and I won’t ever achieve this’ then that’s what our subconscious works towards. We ask for it. We get it. It’s a simple process.

Positive self-talk and belief are important when realistically applied to our life and our goals. Have you noticed that successful people are usually positive and energetic? Do you think they became that way because they are successful, or being that way led to their success?

Henry Ford said, ‘Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.’  That sums it up perfectly.

In the next post, we’ll learn the next step in the process of achieving what you desire!

Making your dreams feel real

                                                            From dreams to reality …

In the last post I challenged you to write down what your ideal life looks like in five years. I hope you enjoyed the process. Now it’s time to take the next step.

This is to look at what you’ve written and find within it a list of goals. Without considering ‘How I will achieve these’ just yet, highlight the statements on your list that work as goals.

The vision of ‘I will start a business to work on timber boats, my true passion, so I can live in a beautiful old home in a small town by the ocean, have time for writing and spend more time with my children to experience the pleasure of life …’ becomes a list of specific goals:

– I’m working towards starting a boat restoration business within the next three years

– I’m starting to research, locate and will purchase an older home in Surfbeach with ocean views

– I work hard in the spring/summer season to allow me time (four months per year) to travel with my children during the holidays, and also pursue my writing. I also structure my day to be free by 4.00 pm to spend time with my children when they get home from school.

These are great goals and are aligned to what you really want in life. If you had just sat down to write goals without a vision, you may have come up with a more traditional list that didn’t reflect your true desires. The more specific and detailed your list the better, as this enables you to paint a clear mental picture of what you plan to achieve.

Goals work best when worded in the present tense and in a style that feels right to you. This allows your subconscious to accept them as real and to begin working on them for you.

As you work through your five-year vision you may find you end up with many goals, or perhaps just a few. If you have many, the next step is to prioritise these to the six most important, 10 at the most if you have a few small ones in the mix. This is important because you can’t do everything at once. If you attempt too much you will lose the clarity and focus you require.

Don’t be concerned; you can revisit these goals when you have achieved the first ones. This provides for healthy and stimulating growth and a wonderful sense of achievement for many years to come.  In our next post we’ll look at how we turn these into reality!

 

How do we start manifesting our dreams?

Dreams to reality

It starts the same way; we wake up one day and realise we want more out of life than we’re currently getting. It may be at one of those dreaded ‘0’ birthdays – 30, 40 or 50 – when we tell ourselves that there must be more than this. It doesn’t mean you have to be in a bad place, broke or homeless. You may have a perfectly comfortable life, but also the desire for something more; a desire to test yourself, to take the next step and to improve your circumstances.

Change requires emotional leverage … a feeling of lack or emptiness that we want to fill. Without this feeling, we stay in our comfort zone. Comfortable, sure, but unchallenged and therefore dissatisfied. The desire for more grows until we’re ready to take action. That’s the first step.

The second step is to be clear on what you want. Don’t worry about goal setting; this is much easier and more fun! Get a piece of paper or open a new file and write/type ‘My ideal life’ at the top. Then start writing how in the next five years you’ll create your perfect life.

You can image anything you like. You can have a wonderful relationship, start a successful business, enjoy time with your friends and family and have a beautiful home overlooking the ocean. You may focus on business success, a life of creativity with music and the arts, or wealth and adventure. Imagine that you have the resources and time for all of it, without limitation.

There’s no right answer, it only matters that you want these things. And you may be surprised by what you write if you let yourself go. When you dare to think about your ideal life, the life you can have if you have everything you desire, you’ll see what is really important to you. It may not be what you expect!

Try it now; write what you will be doing, who with, where and why. Have some fun and write the ideal script of your life. Then in the next post we’ll take the next step. This is success without compromise – the things that are important in your life. Go.

Getting rich – art or science?

Can you find universal success?

Have you heard about the book The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles? Written in 1910, it’s the foundation of today’s thinking around the law of attraction and our ability to ‘manifest’ our desires.

The book analyses in depth a concept of the universe, applying the principals of attraction and gratitude and being open to universal flow to receive. From this comes creating a vision and belief (sometimes through the use of affirmations) and allowing your desires to come to you.

Some believe it, others don’t, but what I believe (and know from firsthand experience) is the power of our subconscious mind to assist in realising our goals. If you want something and create a strong feeling around it you will often find that the answer to getting it will pop into your head. When we ‘sleep on it’ we provide the time for our subconscious mind to find a way.

Perhaps the law of attraction and the subconscious mind are one and the same.  And if it works for you, it doesn’t really matter what you call it..

Let’s go back to 1910 and look at the key ideas from Wattles’ book:

• There is a universal energy from which all things are made.

• When you form a thought, you tap into this energy, and you create that which you are thinking about.

• Individuals have the ability to create a thought and cause the subject of the thought to be created in this field of universal energy.

• To activate this ability, we must learn to apply our creative mind. Typically, we function with our competitive mind but to create things with thought, we need to activate our creative mind.

• We can come into harmony with this universal energy through the act of expressing gratitude.

• To manifest something new, hold an image of what you seek in your mind. Express gratitude to the universe for having granted this to you.

• To achieve wealth, apply this same principle – hold a clear vision of the wealth you hope to attain. Then express gratitude that this wealth is coming to you.

• All that you include in your mental image will come to you through the physical realm – through the process of natural ways such as trade and commerce.

• To claim this wealth, you must be active. You must do all that you can do each day to make this vision a reality. Strive to deliver to others something of value greater than what they paid for.

• Those who practice these instructions will get rich. The riches they receive will be in the exact proportion to the definiteness of their vision, the fixity of their purpose, the steadiness of their faith and the depth of their gratitude.

Though more than one hundred years old, these principles are just as true today as they were in Wattles’ day. Indeed, they are universal.

Try these laws of attraction, or the power of your subconscious mind (or whatever you want to call it) for yourself. You may be surprised with the results!

‘Delusion optimism’ and the realisation of nothing

Will you take responsibility for you?

I was reading an article on the outlook of the economy and the author used the term ‘delusional optimism’. This made me think about the way we manage change, or more particularly, how we approach ‘self-improvement’ and the changes improvement necessarily entail.  We love to talk about self-improvement, read about it and attend seminars, but rarely do we do anything about it. In short, we don’t change.

Perhaps that makes self-improvement a form of entertainment rather than education; a feel good, dreamscape of self-delusion.  Much like buying a lottery ticket, we’re in love with the idea and potential of what it can bring without ever expecting it to happen.

We love the idea of change and the benefits it will bring but mostly we aren’t prepared to put in the effort to make it happen. People are deluded about what they can do, or more particularly the results they can get, without specific action or effort.

People exaggerate their intentions and are deluded about the results. Positive affirmations are a great example – we can affirm our future wealth and success over and over again but without action there won’t be traction. A positive mindset is only the beginning.

Knowing what affects behaviour has very little influence on how we actually behave. Just ask anyone wanting to quit smoking or lose weight. The answer may be obvious, but making it happen is not. Speak to a group about the benefits of change and they get very excited, ask for a commitment and the mood changes, the excuses start and the enthusiasm gets icy.

They don’t want to do it, or even admit it to themselves, because people have life equilibrium and they’re comfortable with that, even when they say they’re not. You can’t make change without some cost, even if that’s just a loss of the familiar or the comfortable.

So there remains a gap between people’s love of the topic, the content, their potential and their acceptance that it actually applies to them. Meaningful changes comes down to how bad you want it, how much you understand the cost of acquiring it, and what you’ll accept in short-term pain for long-term gain. We all have the potential to change, but are we prepared to do what it takes?

Get off your arse and do it!

Create your own luck through taking action

Your success is up to you. It can’t be bought, sold, tried on or borrowed. It must be created, will be different for everyone and will change over time. We all want it, yet many can’t define it, you may not realise when you have it and it may not be permanent.

One thing for sure is that achieving success requires purposeful action, and goal-orientated strategies to get there. You can’t plan your way there, get the answer from a book or apply a hidden formula. You actually have to do something, take that first step and commit. Scary stuff because once you do the possibility of failure looms large. Facing fear and failure is one of the prices you have to pay, and paying it makes success so much sweeter.

Still with me?

The importance of developing action-orientated strategies fundamentally recognises that life is not static, and that you are unlikely to reach a point of clarity and control from which your life progresses until you take action. Purposeful action to find success, as you define it, implies an acceptance of change and recognition of the need to adapt. 

When you’re moving towards a meaningful goal with passion, excitement and determination you’re succeeding. When you accept and adapt to that which you can’t change, even if this feels like bowing to fate, you’re succeeding. When events are moving too fast, and you feel like you’re not in control but you’re willing to roll with it and make the best of it, you’re succeeding. And, of course, when you’re in ultimate control, feeling like you’re master of the universe, you’re succeeding. This means success isn’t the outcome, but the process.

What is common to all of this is the inexorability of change.

I believe the human condition requires progress. Nothing remains the same even if we want it to. The only certainty in life is its uncertainty. The clock is ticking and your resources are finite.

You may wish to preserve today but it will be gone tomorrow. The mirror reflects more than your image, it reflects the passage of time. Try as you might you can’t prevent change, preserve this moment or ensure certainty. Attempting to do so just limits your capacity to adapt to new circumstances.

 Each moment contains new possibilities. Life and time draws us along, action and reaction, ebb and flow.  Certainty is an illusion. Can you willingly accept uncertainty and grow despite your doubts and fears? Can you create the change you wish to see?